There was a day when I could not sleep if there was unfinished business. Perhaps some may say this is a positive quality - like, for example, my husband who appreciates the fact that I can't go to bed angry or with a conversation "unresolved". Or, my old bosses, who always marveled at my ability to finish projects without cutting corners.
But you know what? I actually think for most of my life this might have been a borderline negative quality for me...and I'm just now admitting it. It is not until Mommyhood that I have been allowed to let go of my need to have things perfect. I now realize that it's not always possible to go to bed with all the dishes washed, all the laundry folded, and all the day's tasks completed. I understand that sometimes things get broken, messed up, and abandoned with parts undone. And, get ready, folks. I now understand that *gasp* sometimes the bread can't be made from scratch, frozen veggies will do in a pinch, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich will do for my toddler's lunch.
I am thankful that with God's help, I am coming to grips with my insane addiction to perfection. I used to think my mom was exaggerating when she said I would NOT eat a piece of broken cheese on my sandwich as a child - even if my life depended on it. Now I believe she's probably not stretching the truth at all. =)
It is a really wonderful thing to have all other things in my life become secondary to being a good wife and mom. Could I have finished my Christmas tree a couple of days ago like I wanted to? Probably. But it would have involved a late night trip to the store to get replacement bulbs to finish out the lights, a late night finishing out the cranberry garland, careful placement of all the ornaments, and probably a cranky morning after it was all done. But instead I chose to go to the park with my boys, play blocks, snuggle in the mornings, and enjoy my evenings at home with my husband...
Oh, I'm sure it will all be finished by the time the week is done, but for now this tree is a good reminder of how I am being ever-molded into a woman with new priorities. How I love the changes that come with this stage of life. I hope I never resist opportunities in life to be changed and grow. I'm thankful for God, my husband, and the little people that surround me for helping me on the path to post-perfectionism!
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5 comments:
Amen. I completely feel you on this. Thank you for the reminder that all things do NOT have to be perfect!
Oh Nicole, isn't God so good to us.:) His perfection is all we need. I loved reading this. When people ask is it difficult having three kids, my answer is it isn't the three kids, it's having to relinquish the control of having a neat and clean home at all times.
Oh wow Keri, I love seeing it that way. Because its true, its not the kids that are difficult (well mostly) but its the loss of all that control. I will meditate on that from now on!
Nicole, I'm so proud of the way you are coming into being a wife and mom, ever changing and improving. I too will be working on my need for all things completed! Thanks for challenging me again.
Thanks for this reminder that all need not be perfect. I too have struggled with this and it is amazing how the children the Lord has blessed me with have forced me to give up that control - God is so good! Many blessings this Christmas season!
Nicole - you have posted with much wisdom on this! What mom hasn't wrestled with this issue? And as the mom of older kids, who can do so much on their own now (i.e. decorate the tree themselves!), I can tell you that the battle remains. They still want and need our time and attentiveness...for different issues now...and without feeling guilty for needing it! Thanks for the reminder, the encouragement, and the friendship in this journey. Merry Christmas to the Reynolds, decorated tree or not! Love, Laura
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